And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
