I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize