I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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