hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
