if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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