Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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