Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
