The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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