How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
