so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
being pregnant is like rehab
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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