i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
