well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
