hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
