She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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