Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
