"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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