are you still at the devil's house?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
