just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize