i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
