Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
