"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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