His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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