I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
