If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
