Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
