I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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