I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
