not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Be still, my beating vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
