the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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