I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
