I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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