I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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