im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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