i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
