wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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