Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
