i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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