Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
