I just cut my nipple shaving
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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