After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
