i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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