That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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