Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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