I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
