yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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