Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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