Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
