Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
