We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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