I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize