So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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