so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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