it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize