So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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