Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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