Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
how does that bad decision feel?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
