ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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